Our lives are made up of chapters. Every chapter involves new experiences, relationships, breakthroughs, and challenges. The prospect of entering a new stage or chapter of life can be intimidating. We are met with the unknown, and it’s uncertain what lies ahead of us.

I recently entered a new chapter of my life: graduate school. The process of applying to graduate school was stressful, as applying to things normally is! There were multiple elements to fine-tune (e.g., personal statement and CV), there were several professors to reach out to for references, and there was of course solidifying my relationship with my potential supervisors. These tasks were also paired with a fear that I may not be accepted and would have to redirect my ambitions! 

After my acceptance, I was feeling accomplished, relieved, and excited! A new chapter of my life was about to begin in the form of reading scientific journals, attending interesting lectures, and honing skills relevant to writing my thesis. These feelings of elation and curiosity, however, quickly met the more sinister cousin of excitement: anxiety. Thoughts of doubt and fear began to circulate in my brain: “Can I do this?”, “What if this program is the wrong fit for me?”, and “How different will this experience be to my undergraduate degree?”.

There is no denying that change can be scary, even welcome or positive change. The status quo as we know it may become altered. With it our sense of self or identity, our goals, our values, and our outlook may also shift. In my case, with this next stage of my academic career, I must now focus on what is relevant to my specific area of study and try to become as much of an expert in my niche field as possible. This contrasts with my undergraduate degree, which was quite broad and flexible, allowing me to sample from different faculties, and expand on my general knowledge.

I wanted to share what I have learned during my new chapter so far, with a couple weeks of graduate school under my belt:

1. Acknowledge the Previous Chapter: Life can often feel like a video game - frantically moving on from one level to the next, gathering new resources and tools to assist you, and defeating various obstacles or “bosses”, all in the hope of reaching your ultimate goal! It is important to acknowledge, however, that as we enter one phase, we may be leaving behind or closing the door on another. This can take some time to process or digest. At the Peer Support Centre, we define grief as a reaction to a loss, and loss is inherently linked with change. Therefore, when we experience change, we may also be experiencing some sense of loss, which is totally normal and valid to feel. As we move through different stages of our life it may serve us to slow down and acknowledge our previous chapter. Moving on too quickly to the next chapter may prevent us from reaching closure, or not allow us to fully grieve any losses encountered along the way. Through reflection, we can learn from our past experiences, recognize how far we’ve come because of our latest chapter (and give ourselves a pat on the back), and feel more present and ready for the upcoming one.
    
2. Expecting & Accepting Challenge: No one starts out as an expert…in anything! The pursuit of something new will naturally involve a learning curve, with hiccups and growing pains par for the course. In my experience, if I expect challenges, I am not as taken aback when I encounter them. Similarly, and more importantly, when I accept challenges, I adopt a more self-compassionate and understanding approach towards myself, which makes me feel better in the long term.
    
3. Expecting & Celebrating Growth: In a new chapter, we may experience new challenges and struggles, however, we may also experience new triumphs and achievements! Over time, skills, knowledge, and confidence can grow and leave us feeling more competent and comfortable than beforehand. Setting an expectation for our self-growth reminds us that as people we can learn new and difficult things, and eventually become quite capable and successful at those things through practice. It is crucial we celebrate our growth and acknowledge how far we have come.
    
4. The New You: We are malleable as people. Throughout our lives, we are constantly changing. The only consistent thing in most of our lives is change! Humans are resilient, resourceful, and adaptable. These qualities allow us to adopt “new versions” of ourselves all the time and handle new chapters of our lives despite the initial misgivings or fear that can surround change.

It is completely normal and expected to have mixed feelings and thoughts when entering a new stage of life. If you have recently started a new chapter, I hope you found my experience to be relatable and validating. If you find yourself feeling very overwhelmed in your new phase of life, the Peer Support Centre is here for you, and our volunteers are ready and equipped to support you in whatever concern you may be facing.

Author Bio:
My name is Anna Marosi (she/her). I am a first year masters student in the department of Pediatrics, and began volunteering with the PSC during Fall 2023. In my spare time, I enjoy reading, being outside, and spending time with family and friends!